I had a friend share last night that she doubts in God's existence...a lot...and this worries her...a lot. On went the counseling hat :) Yes, doubt can be bad...and even wrong...if we allow ourselves to pitch a tent and camp there. But the fact that my friend feels the way that she does didn't cause me a moment's hesitation...because I personally have no doubt that she truly knows and loves the Lord...or that she even knows that she knows.
The way I see it, doubt welcomes an opportunity to trust. To know that despite our human limitations and weaknesses, that we are holding on to something that sometimes doesn't make much sense. I think this happens most when we most want what God is not giving us--because it then becomes harder to see Him at work around us. But what about all of the ways that we do see Him at work--and have seen Him work. We cannot forget those times--we must not forget those times.
One of my favorite sections of Scripture is Psalm 90. It is a psalm of Moses. It starts off by saying, "Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations." Moses goes on to trace who the Lord has been and what the Lord has done...to remind those listening of God's track record. This then builds up to his plea, "Relent, O Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants. Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days." Moses wants to continue to see God work the way that He has in past generations.
I have a mentor who always emphasizes the importance of my lens...if I choose to see the world in a negative and pessimistic way, then I will. I will see the crime and the pain and the injustice and the poverty and the list goes on. The world will look bleak. But I can also choose to see the world through a different lens...a kingdom lens. This is not to say that God Himself does not see the bleakness and that we as Christians shouldn't see it as well...but we must choose to look at it with the Lord's perspective on it. His lens is a redemptive one.
So, it is with all of that said that in our pain and our waiting and our confusion...and in the times when the Lord seems so silent and so far away...we must continue to hold on to what we know is true. Ask the Lord to show you the ways that He has worked in your life...ask Him to show you the ways that He has worked throughout the span of time...and from that get to a place of knowing that He is going to keep working, both for your good and for the good of all humanity.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
My first ever AA meeting...
No, I am not an alcoholic. But I did go to an AA meeting tonight. I went as a support to someone who needed to go and I went not really knowing what to expect from the experience. I did pray for us before we went in...nothing too extreme...just that the Lord would help us through it and bless us in the midst of it. And did He ever. I love how God never ceases to amaze.
Several things stood out to me tonight that I am still processing but here are the pre-processed thoughts: 1) How much God loves us. How even when we "relapse" and go right back to the thing that we know is not good for us, He still welcomes us back, and loves us just the same. 2) How much we are our own worst critic. I seriously wonder how much less we would all be screwed up if we learned to just give ourselves grace and the same room to learn lessons that we so much more easily give other people. 3) How much pain there is in this world...to the extent that so many need to numb it or ignore it by abusing a substance. My heart ached for the women who shared their stories tonight...even in just the short 3-minutes they were given. 4) Hope. Where would any of us be without hope. Hope for something better, hope for change, hope for peace...without it, none of those women would have been sitting in that room sharing about the change in their lives and how they are changing. I am so thankful for the One who is changing them. 5) Lastly, I am so excited to be going into the field that I am. It is such an honor and a privilege to come alongside people who desire to see change happen in their lives and to be a help to them. I continue to see the pieces of my life fall into place and it overwhelms me with gratitude.
God is good.
Several things stood out to me tonight that I am still processing but here are the pre-processed thoughts: 1) How much God loves us. How even when we "relapse" and go right back to the thing that we know is not good for us, He still welcomes us back, and loves us just the same. 2) How much we are our own worst critic. I seriously wonder how much less we would all be screwed up if we learned to just give ourselves grace and the same room to learn lessons that we so much more easily give other people. 3) How much pain there is in this world...to the extent that so many need to numb it or ignore it by abusing a substance. My heart ached for the women who shared their stories tonight...even in just the short 3-minutes they were given. 4) Hope. Where would any of us be without hope. Hope for something better, hope for change, hope for peace...without it, none of those women would have been sitting in that room sharing about the change in their lives and how they are changing. I am so thankful for the One who is changing them. 5) Lastly, I am so excited to be going into the field that I am. It is such an honor and a privilege to come alongside people who desire to see change happen in their lives and to be a help to them. I continue to see the pieces of my life fall into place and it overwhelms me with gratitude.
God is good.
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